Yes, I've just come to figure out that I'm stressed 8I I don't compleatly know the reason for it since I don't really live a stressful life, but a few bad things have happened this year that might have triggered it subconsciously and then there are a few starting factors from a year back or so =v= Like one and a half year ago I got troubles with my wrists, it was when I was in comic art school and I thought that my wrists would never get better, so I got stressed about that and it's here the first symptoms of stress appear, some kind of spasms during night, my whole body jerked so I woke up. And later, last summer, I got problem with my neck (also a sign of stress) I still have problems with it, which also causes me to stress because it doesn't want to disappear whatever I do, sometimes it's good sometimes it bad.
An other cause of my worries has been directed towards my grandma who was sick for 2 years and no doctor could find out what was wrong before she died this spring just a few months after my beloved Marve (one of my previous cats) died in a pretty traumatic way.
I've thought that I wasn't very effected by these thingas that have happened but they've probably just been laying around subconsciously till this summer. This summer started good, but in the end of june I think I got some kind of stress breakdown, I felt like I was about to faint, that I had hard to breath, my feet and hands were shaking and vibrating. So dad took me to the hospital and all my tests was good and I realized that I became calm after I got to hear that there was nothing physically wrong with me (but I was still horribly tired after that stress 8I). After this, I've not really been myself. I can hardly eat even though I want to so bad and I've been sleeping 4 h longer than I usually do, I've never needed much sleep, 8 h and I'm good to go, but now I need 12 h.
Last night I went to bed at 10 pm because I was sooooo tired, for no reason. And when I was lying in bed I tried to figure out what was causing all this and it came to me that I started to feel a bit down in the mid of june already and I think I know why 8I
My brothers girlfriend.
I mean, it's not her fault lol, but the fact that she was here day in and day out I never really got any peace since I have the room ontop of my brothers.
But the fact that I've had to listen to their humping all summer is not why I feel stressed, it's the thought that came with it.
I came to realize how lonely I am.
When your parents are literaly your best friends, then you can figure how lonely I am. I've never even had any friends. I don't have anyone to hang out with. The friends I have are you, people on the internet and I love you guys and I wish I could hang out with you, play games, watch movies and have fun times outside the computer .________.
I've never even had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend for that matter. I don't even know what sexuallity I have. Though, I feel all cold when guys are hitting on me, so no.. no guys =v=
I feel like a misfit in life 8I
But yes. I'm stressed and feeling lonely uAu so if I'm not online as much as before and stuff it's probably because I'm in bed sleeping or at work.